Grow up!

"Grow up!". The Lord actually told me to grow up. To get over myself, past my petty issues and "problems" and to choose to be an adult.

Honestly, it is about time! So at 40 years old, I am choosing to grow up, choosing to be mature, choosing to be an adult.

I have waited for 40 years to FEEL like a grown up. To FEEL like I am making adult decisions, to FEEL wise, to FEEL mature. So it was not until my Father quietly but firmly told me to grow up that I realized maturity is not something you gain with years, but instead maturity like love is a decision, a state of mind, a choice. A choice I will have to make on a daily basis, just like the choice I make every day to get out of bed, to school my kids, to love my husband.

As I heard the Father say "Grow up," in a situation I can't here share, I also heard Him say, "Who are you living for? Yourself, that is what children do.".

It hit me then that someone who is mature lives for Christ and as Christ, denying themselves in favor of doing that which is hard even when they don't want to.

So, at 40, I am choosing to be a grown up; choosing to be an adult, choosing to be mature, even when I don't FEEL grown up.