Ash

There was no evil to fear in the garden. It was a place of life and peace where there was no death, no fear, no deceit...that is until the day that Nectar spoke. He spoke words that sounded like honey to their ears. They were drawn to him. He was one of the most beautiful creatures they had ever seen. He stood six feet tall, with feathers like a male peacock and the wingspan of a dragon. His eyes were piercing...a green emerald did not shine with as much clarity as his eyes. “I see that you are enjoying the abundance of the garden. I love to drink the nectar of the fruit and feel the sweet taste of life flow through my veins.”

His very words made the fruit they ate even more sweet than they knew it to be.“How is it that there is yet another tree here in the garden, a tree that’s fruit is more luscious and more inviting than any other tree in the garden and yet it is forbidden. There must be some mistake. How can it be possible that you are not allowed to eat of such a magnificent fruit? Why would the garden give forth such beauty and then withhold it?”

As his words flowed into their ears, their hearts began to question. The woman looked at her husband and asked him, “Seth could you be mistaken in your belief that we are not to eat of the tree that sits at the center of the garden. Why be at the center of all things and yet be forbidden? Why give forth the most appealing fruit and yet deny every living thing a taste of it? Could you be wrong?”

King Nectar’s lips began to curve in a small grin of satisfaction. His words had done exactly what he had hoped they would. They had put doubt in the mind of the woman and he knew that she was the soul of the couple. If she questioned the man, Seth, he would not be able to stand. If Nectar had come directly at him, Seth would have fought to protect his wife and himself, but now with Lara questioning him, his resolve would quickly evaporate. If she doubted him, his source of help and strength, then he might be wrong. She was in every aspect wise, and he trusted her implicitly. Yet why did he feel threatened by the creature that stood before them, if she did not?

Seth instinct told him to grabbing his wife’s hand and running as far away from the beautifully, enticing creature as he possibly could. But that would make him look like a coward, afraid to listen to mere words. Words could not hurt, or could they? Why was he feeling so strange? He had never before felt this way. This was not peace and rest. It was different from anything he had ever known before. His hands were sweating and his heart was beginning to race. And the woman questioned him. He looked at her and said, “Lara, maybe I have been mistaken.”

Those words emboldened Nectar. He drew closer to Lara, and allowed the warmth of his breath to brush across her face. She responded as he had hoped. She leaned toward him and waited for his words. His words trickled into her ear, “What harm would there be in one small taste? In one simple bite into the most voluptuous fruit in the garden,” Nectar lightly took her hand and looked into her eyes. “What harm could there possibly be.”

As he spoke, his words took away any doubt she had about eating the fruit. Seth was mistaken. The fruit was calling out to her. It wanted to be eaten. She would have it, and she would do whatever she needed to do in order to bite into its tender skin. “Seth,” she said as she drew near to him. “Seth, please, let’s eat just one fruit. We will share it. How can one hurt us? Think of the juice running down our throats as we drink from the fruit. It is like no other. I know that it is special. Can’t you feel it calling to us to take and eat of it? Please, Seth, just one bite.”

Seth wavered. He longed to please her in any and every way he possible could, but this? Yes, what harm could come from one simple fruit? Maybe he was wrong. He was the keeper of the garden, why would anything in the garden be forbidden from him? They walked to the tree.

Nectar, watched with anxious anticipation. Lara reached out her hand. She touched the fruit. She felt its smooth skin. She was overcome by desire. She had to have the fruit. She bit into it and the clear juice ran down her chin, and into her mouth. What an amazing taste. It was just as she knew it would be, and then she held it out to Seth. He hesitated for an instant, and then he leaned toward her and he ate of the fruit. He too felt the sweetness of it washing through him. He wanted more. They did not just eat one. They ate one after another, like ravenous wolves. They ate and consumed the fruit of the tree, and then as the last piece was torn apart it hit them. An overwhelming despair, a self -awareness of wrong they had never known before. They lay on the ground beating their breasts, crying out for what they had done.

He laughed.He, Nectar, was no longer a creature of exquisite beauty...he smelled of sulfur, his eyes were devoid of color...they now consisted of ash, and when he spoke they cried out from the horror of the gasping sound that came from his mouth. He wheezed out, “I have defeated you through your own desire. Death awaits you as it has consumed me. You will soon be no different from me. Even now, as you look on me with such disgust, so too will you look upon each other. You will die a slow and eternal death, and I will treasure every moment of it.”

The fear that entered their hearts was even more debilitating because they had never known it before. Lara reached out to Seth. He pulled away from her, horrified at the smell of sulfur on her breath. He had been the one to protect her and now he had allowed her to lead them both to death. He cried out in torment as he and Lara turned to ash.

Knots

My bad mothering actually led to this post. Last night, as we were coming home from somewhere, my oldest daughter said, “Mom, my hair feels so smooth.”

I said, “That is what happens when you brush it every day.”

She then said, “Sometimes when I have knots in my hair it feels like I have a cushion to lay my head on, but with smooth hair it doesn’t feel that way.”

I had to laugh. She is nine and would rather have her knotted cushion at times than the pain of a good hair brushing, and there are days I would rather her have knots than have to endure the whining and crying that go along with detangling her very long, ballerina hair. I don’t like to inflict pain on my children on a daily basis, but without the daily pain, the knots that build up get larger and harder to deal with, leading to a much greater and deeper every few days pain.

I got to thinking about my daughters hair and her knots. It is hard to be consistent in parenting, sometimes it feels easier, more merciful to let something go…to let some behavior go unaddressed so I don’t have to hear the whining. I have found out though that the avoidance of the misbehavior, okay let’s just call it what it is, sin, leads to even greater and deeper pain in the long run.

If I let my son speak to me in a disrespectful manner one time, he will continue that behavior (sin/bad-habits are much easier to make than good ones are) until I stop him. It will be a much greater struggle to stop him six times later, than had I done it the first time around. Plus, his disrespect left unchecked always causes a counter disrespect in me. I respond back to him in sarcasm, which is sin, and a tit for tat relationship begins instead of a parent-child healthy relationship.

Our knots get bigger, become comfortable cushions in our interaction with one another, and we don’t want to deal with the pain it will take to brush through them, that is until we know someone else we want to impress is watching. When our appearance becomes a concern, we tend to try to work though our knots in order to make ourselves presentable.

So, when I get to the point that the neighbors down the street can hear me yelling back and forth with my son out our open window, I realize that others are watching and I better become the parent instead of the adolescent kid trading barbs with my 11 year old. Why isn’t it enough to know that I should behave as the parent, or even more importantly know that I want to behave in a way that will reveal Christ to my son, frustrates me to no end. We sure complain a lot about peer pressure, but we must need it because it is defiantly a tool that God has set up to bring about change in our lives. It gives us that audience we need to impress, and it helps us brush out the knots we have allowed to become our comfortable cushion in life.

The next time you are feeling like you just don’t want to brush the knots out, remember that the more they build up the bigger they get, and the more painful they are to brush out down the road. Consistent care of our kid's hearts may not be easy, but brushing out the knots in their attitudes will smooth out their lives.