Pride and Prejudice in Christianity???

In the Book of James, James tells us that there should be no favoritism within the church. As believers there should be a common bond of Christ that removes all pride from our attitudes toward others and with the absence of pride there should be no prejudice toward any individual or group. However, this has not always been the case. Even from the beginning, the church has not always left prejudice aside.

Had Jane Austin addressed this issue in the Church she might have said, “Neither 100 lbs a year nor 10,000, neither master nor servant, neither unmarried at 27 nor married at 16, for all are one in Christ.”

Instead it was Paul who addressed the need for equality in the body in Galatians 3:28,
“Neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Jane Austin did attack the issue of misconceptions toward others based on wealth, position in society and family background. Pride and Prejudice is a story that reveals how pride, and from that pride, prejudice can separate people from one another. Her main characters, Elizabeth Bennet and John Darcy are filled with condescension and critical judgments toward all those around them, including one another. It is not until their love for one another over powers their pride that they begin to see that they have judged each other unfairly. They made assumptions about each other even before knowing who the other person was.

This prejudgment of other people is common in the world, but sadly it is just as prevalent in the Church.

Paul wrote what he did in Galatians 3:28 because of the attitudes people within the body of believers had toward others. In Galatians, Paul had to confront Peter about the hypocrisy he had shown toward Gentiles after a group of Jewish believers arrived. Prior to believers from Jerusalem coming to Galatia, Peter had eaten freely with Gentiles believers, but when these other men came he began to pull away from the Gentiles. He was afraid of those Jewish believers who were of the circumcision group coming against him. With his actions, Peter actually caused several other Jews, who had been with him prior to the arrival of those from Jerusalem, to treat the Gentile believers as if they were less than Jewish believers. Paul confronted Peter. He said “We who are Jewish by birth and not ‘Gentile sinners’ know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ.” In this, Paul was reminding Peter of the gospel message, the same message that Peter had taken to the Gentiles.

In Acts 10, the Lord called Peter to the home of a Gentile, a Roman soldier by the name of Cornelius. Cornelius and Peter both received visions from the Lord drawing them to one another. One day Cornelius was praying (Cornelius was a religious man apart from Christ) and all of a sudden a man appeared to him in shining clothes. This man told him to send for Peter. Either on that day, or the day right after, Peter was praying as he waited for dinner. He had a vision of a sheet coming down from heaven with animals on it…clean and unclean (there were certain animals Jews could eat and others they could not eat and the sheet contained both types.) In the vision the Lord told Peter to get up and kill and eat. Peter said no Lord. I have never eaten anything unclean before. Then the Lord told Peter that nothing He had created was unclean. At that moment Peter woke up, and the Spirit told him to go down stairs because men were waiting for him. Peter realized that his dream directly related to the men who were waiting for him. The Lord told him to go to the house of a Gentile and proclaim Christ…this was not something a Jew ever did. They believed they would be defiled if they went into the home of a Gentile, so for Peter to be told that he was to go to the Gentiles was a huge thing. God knew that he needed to be prepared and that is why he had the dream when he did. It was not related to food, but instead to mankind. “Nothing I made is unclean,” the Lord told Peter and then He sent him to the Gentiles.

Peter left for Cornelius’ house that very day. When he got there, Acts 10:27 tells us that Peter walked into the house. He is stiff and looks very proud. The crowd parts for him, so it is clear that he is a man of great standing. Everyone bows or curtsies as he passes by. This is the point where he and Elizabeth see each other for the first time. He walks up to the door of Cornelius house and looks around. He has six of his fellow Jewish believers with him. I am sure they stood even further back than Miss Bingley did when she was introduced to the Bennetts. Peter steps into the house, and just as everyone at the ball parts for Mr. Darcy in reverence, Cornelius falls at Peter’s feet. Unlike Darcy, Peter tells Cornelius that he is no different he says, “Stand up….I am only a man myself”.

Imagine Darcy standing there with all these lower ranked country people. He is used to high society, perfect manners and dress and now he is standing among the rabble and expected to dance…he tries to make Lizzy not sound too bad after Bingley asks him why he is not dancing. Bingley points out that Elizabeth Bennet is available and attractive…Darcy says she is tolerable, but not attractive enough to tempt him.

He walks up to the door of Cornelius house and looks around. He has six of his fellow Jewish believers with him. I am sure they stood even further back than Miss Bingley did when she was introduced to the Bennetts. Peter steps into the house, and just as everyone at the ball parts for Mr. Darcy in reverence, Cornelius falls at Peter’s feet. Unlike Darcy, Peter tells Cornelius that he is no different he says, “Stand up….I am only a man myself”.

Peter says this, but not five minutes later…possibly in his nervous state he says, “You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him.”
Peter in like manner points out that he should not be in the house of Cornelius, BUT Peter takes a different course than Darcy. God has shown him that he should not call any man impure or unclean. So Peter chooses to obey and he proclaims Christ to the rabble, to the Gentiles.

Through Peter’s obedience, because he chose to over come his own pride and prejudice toward Gentiles, Cornelius and all those in his house believe in Jesus. They believe that He defeated death and gave himself for them. Acts 10:44 says that while Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message (the Gentiles not the believing Jews). Peter ORDERED that the Gentiles be baptized in the name of Jesus.

Peter overcame his pride and prejudice through obedience to God, but the other believers…now called the circumcised believers believed because they saw that God does not show partiality. God did not first have Peter explain why Cornelius needed to be circumcised before he could come to faith. No, it was through faith in Christ alone and His work on the cross that Cornelius and the members of his household came to a saving knowledge of Jesus.

Now, I wish all pride and prejudice in Christianity had been swept away that day at Cornelius’ house, but sadly it was not. Peter even struggled with it again later on, and Paul had to confront him about his attitude toward Gentile believers.

Where do our prejudice’s lie today? It is easy to sit back and look at Darcy or even Peter and point out how ridiculous their behavior was, but it is much harder to look at our own pride or our prejudice toward others as ridiculous. I know that I can pretty much justify every feeling I have. I can say well this person makes me uncomfortable, or this person is just wrong, and in that way, I can be right and keep my guard up.

As I thought about what I was going to write on this subject, I tried to think of areas of division we have in the body of Christ today. Where do we run into prejudice?

Is it the kid who is sitting with our kid in youth group, the one who has black everything on? Don’t we all applaud the youth pastor doing outreach until the outreach kid is hanging out with our own kid?

Is it the twenty-two year old women three rows in front of us who has a great figure and wears everything to remind us that she has a great figure? Don’t we wish we could tell her how to dress, but that would mean we would have to actually talk to her…then we might find that we liked her and at that point her dress might not seem as offensive as it did when we were sitting behind her judging her?

Is it the music minister who sings all those loud songs and seems to rock the house every week, instead of leading us to sing in the “right way”? Sometimes we wish he would just sing a hymn, yet when we open our hearts, we realize that How Great is Our God brings a brokenness to our hearts just as powerfully as How Great Thou Art.

Is it that woman with the baby in the middle left? Doesn’t she know there is a cry room she can take her baby too? Doesn’t she know you came to church to hear the pastor preach, not her kid scream? We all say we are thankful for children, until children disturb our time. We need to remember our time as new parents. The fear, weariness and the need to be out with other believers so we could be refreshed to go home and sit up at night little one showing the love of Christ to him.

Or it could be so many other things.

If Peter had allowed his prejudice to out weigh his love for Christ, he would not have been the first one to take the gospel to the Gentiles. The gospel would have still been spread, but Peter would have missed out on seeing that wonderful day when grace was poured out on the Gentiles. When the larger picture of Christ’s great gift was shown…For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only Son that who ever believed in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” The gift was not to the Jews alone…but to the world.

Darcy overcame his pride and Elizabeth her prejudice when they had the time to get to know one another. When they let their guard down and opened their hearts to one another. Peter overcame his customs and traditions when he listened to the voice of his Lord and obeyed.

We are no different from Darcy or Lizzy or Jane Austin. We struggle in the same ways that Peter and the Jewish believers did. What changed the path that they all were on was them opening themselves up to be known and to know others. I have been very hard on Darcy tonight, but the reason that the thought first came to my to do this devotional is that I am Mr. Darcy. I tend to walk in a room and look around to see where I fit in. In all reality, that is all Mr. Darcy was doing, the difficulty he had was that he was a man of high rank, and therefore he had to be acknowledged. I am sure he would have rather have come in quietly looked around and gotten comfortable before he began to talk to anyone other than those around him. I am much the same way. I have to figure out where I fit in and then I can begin to talk to people. Darcy confesses at one moment that he does not have the “happy manners” that Wickham has sad to say neither do I. We all have weaknesses that cause us to struggle and it is only when we let down our walls and start to see the good in others that we can do away with our prejudices

Neither purple haired post-modern nor suit clad modern, neither stay at home mom nor working woman, neither Hispanic nor white, neither male nor female….for if we are in Christ then we are one.

Romantic Adultery

In Matthew 5:27-28 Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Jesus was clearly addressing men in this portion of the Sermon on the Mount. He said that mentally taking a woman in a lustful way is no different than actually sleeping with her.

It is easy for us as women to AMEN the pastor who preaches Jesus’ words from Matthew 5. We shake our heads in agreement; as the men are told that they are sinning when they take that second look at the woman jogging down the street or consciously linger over the woman in a bikini at the pool, looking at her through their sunglasses. Our security, as women and wives, is stolen every time our husband stares at a magazine covered with the cleavage of some actress, while we stand next to him in line at the grocery store. When we hear the words of Jesus spoken to our men by the pastor on a Sunday morning, we feel protected. We are thankful someone is defending us against the sadness that arises in our hearts when we realize that we are not attractive enough to hold the gaze of the man we gave our lives to on the day we said, “I do.”

However, ladies, the message Jesus conveyed is not just for men. Sadly, when we hear it preached we rarely think of ourselves, our own moments of indiscretion, and our own thoughts of infidelity. We listen, all the while sitting next to our husbands in a “holier than thou” position, elbowing them in the ribs, giving them a sidelong glance, making sure they are taking in every word, all the while not hearing the Spirit move in our own hearts because we think we don’t have any issues in this area.

Every act of sin begins with a decision, so if a man takes that second look, he made a decision to take it, and at that moment, he chose to remove his wife from the center of his desire and put that other woman in her place. In like manner, any time a woman romanticizes about a man other than her husband, she is choosing to replace her husband with a figment of her imagination. If she then allows that figment to live at the center of her affection, she will become more and more discontented with her own husband, and will either continue to live in the false romance of her mind or actually decide to seek out her dream man elsewhere.

To women, Jesus could have just as easily been saying, “You have heard it said, ‘You shall not commit adultery; but I say to you that every woman who willfully causes a man to look upon her with lust has already committed adultery in her heart; whoever talks about how hot the guy in the movie she just watched with her girlfriends has already committed adultery in her heart; whoever dreams she is married to the character in the novel she is reading instead of to her husband has already committed adultery in her heart; whoever flirts with any man who comes along in order to feel good about herself, has already committed adultery in her heart….”

Mental adultery is just as real for woman as it is for their male counter-parts, but it does not always manifest itself in the same way.

Don’t get me wrong, we notice attractive men, and in our modern day world, of visual stimulation and coed living, we women have become predators in our own right. Equality does not simply mean equal pay for equal work anymore. No, it means catcalls, crude comments, hitting on men, and making a big deal about the hot guy who walked by the window at work. Women now watch television or movies and notice the physique of the male lead just as much as his caring demeanor. Once men like Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, and Jimmy Stewart captured the hearts of female audiences, but now being sincere, strong and caring is not enough. Leading men have to be as “beautiful” as their female costars.

Women also know that their physical appearance draws attention. We like to be looked at, and when that desire to be noticed becomes the focus, well anything goes. This is where we cause men to stumble the most. If we understood how much of a draw we are to them, how God created them to be stimulated through sight, we would make different choices in how we dress and how we act. Instead of just the tank top, we would put a jacket on over it. Instead of a bikini, we would wear a one-piece suit. Instead of the low cut blouse, we would wear a crewneck top.

When we draw the knowing look, the lingering stare, we have achieved our goal of being worshipped, but in so doing, we have caused a man to commit adultery. When looked at in those terms, we might just decide to dress for our husbands and please them, leaving all the other men to be pleased by their own wives.

Add to this heightened sense of sight and physical awareness, a woman’s desire for romance, and the door for adulterous thoughts is thrown wide open. Romance for a woman is not simply candy, flowers and romantic midnight strolls. It is a man who loves her unconditionally, provides for her physically and emotionally, protects her heart as well as her life, and willingly lays down his life for her on a daily basis. The problem is that this romantic hero does not exist, well he does exist, he is just not human, so what tends to happen to most women with this fictional version of their dream man is disappointment. Too often we, as women, allow fictional characters to place an unrealistic version of the real thing into our minds and hearts. So, when our husbands come home from work, throw their clothes on the floor, sprawl out in the recliner, turn on ultimate fighting, and ask us what’s for dinner, our romantic and real worlds collide, and if we aren’t careful, the romantic version will win out and replace the real thing.

One woman I was well acquainted with fell down this romance trap. She stopped seeing the value of her husband and replaced their relationship with one of her own creation. She began fantasizing about one of her friend’s husbands. She saw how this man lavished gifts on his wife and kids, how softly he spoke to his wife, how he romanced her, and provided for her every need. Mentally she began to rearrange marriages. She took the place of her friend, and began to live out her friend’s life in her romantic imaginings. The illusion of this “perfect” husband filled not only her waking thoughts, but also her unconscious dreams.

Within a couple months, this woman began to pursue the man of her dreams, and for his part, had he heeded the words of Jesus, that to look upon a woman lustfully is to commit adultery, he would have saved himself, his family, this woman, her family and their church family a great deal of pain. Instead, he allowed her physical beauty, as well as her desire for him to overwhelm his judgment. They walked into an adulterous relationship, and made plans to abandon their families so that they could be with “the one person, they were meant to be with”.

When I confronted this woman, I pointed out something she had seemed to miss. I said, “If this man is so good, and loving, and utterly perfect as a husband, how can he do what he is doing to his wife? If he can take this most selfish of acts, leaving his wife for you, what makes you think he won’t leave you for someone else?”

It was not his physical appearance that caused her to abandon her children and husband. No, she had so built this man up in her mind that she was willing to destroy everyone’s lives in order to have her fantasy. Once the Lord revealed her sin to her, and she rejected the course she had set for herself, she began to realize that this man was not what she had made him out to be in her own world of perfection. She found that her husband was the greatest romantic in the world. He forgave her infidelity, her claim on another man, and accepted her back as his wife.

The act of adultery begins in the mind, but the spark arises in the heart. It is the location of our romantic sensibilities, and out of it flows the issues of life. Whatever we have been holding onto, meditating on, allowing to enter into our feelings, will flow from our hearts into our minds. Once we have given into our own selfish desires, there is little to stop us moving forward with something we never thought we were capable of doing. No matter how discrete we believe ourselves to be, we are still hurting our spouse, ourselves and the heart of God, when we choose to allow another person to come between us and our mate, no matter how real that other person may or may not be.

Jesus finished up his warning on lustful thoughts by saying, “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

So, if Jack Bauer (24), Jack Shephard (Lost), Tom Wells (Smallville), Hugh Jackman, or Christian Bale is causing you to lust, cut them off. If the gym makes you look at other men, stop going. If you are fantasizing about your kid’s teacher or your friend’s husband, then stop spending time with them. If Facebook connected you with an old boyfriend, whose marriage just fell apart, do not accept his friend request. If the book series you are reading causes you to create a fake man to be in love with, throw it away. It is better to lose some money, experience rejection, miss some entertainment, or gain some weight after quitting the gym than to suffer the consequence for your lustful decision. Our husbands aren’t stupid. They are one with us, so even if we are simply daydreaming about another man, they will know and there will be pain in our marriages.

In the end, mental adultery is not about our husbands, it does affect them, but it is not about them. No, when we are lusting for other men, the real problem is our relationship with Jesus. Romantic or visual lust is sin, and all sin is rebellion against God, so, when we struggle with impure thoughts, we know our heart is not right. We have taken our focus off our Savior and placed in onto ourselves. Self-focus leads to self-gratification, but there is no such thing as self-gratification, we always want more.

Truly, what we are looking for cannot be found nor met by a man. The desire to be loved unconditionally, provided for physically and emotionally, to have our hearts as well as our lives protected and cared for by someone who willingly laid down his life for us can only be found in Jesus. He is the only one who can meet our every need, and satisfy our hearts desire.

Building Relationship

I do not want the gathering of information or facts to be the focus of anything I write or teach. My overall desire is to lead women into a deeper relationship with God, and through that relationship understand that Jesus is more than enough to meet every need in their lives.

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death. Phil 3:8-10

Conversation of Relationship: Prayer

Jesus set the standard for knowing God. His example shows us how to sustain our relationship with the Father.
Read the following passages of Scripture. Write down what you learn and observe from them.

Matt. 26:36-46

Matt. 14:13-23

Luke 5:15-16

Luke 6:12-16

Jesus talked to the Father about everything. After a day of ministry He did not sit around with His disciples and talk about what went right that day, how they could have done this or that better or what the next day held. No, He went to His Father and shared everything with Him. Jesus was able to with stand the cross because He stayed in His Father’s love. The Father and I are One.

Foundation of Relationship: Surrender

Read Psalm 51 written below:

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the in most place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Save me from blood guilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Who is crying out to God in this Psalm?

What does his prayer reveal about his relationship with God?

How was he able to be so transparent in his prayer?

How do we get to the point that we can totally share our heart with God?

Our heart seeks relationship. That is how we are made…even more so since we are women. We hunger and thirst for someone to know us and love us for who we are. We want to be known as we know.

No person can fully meet our deepest need for relationship. No matter how hard we work at any earthly relationship, it will always leave us wanting. God did that. He does not want anyone to fill up that emptiness. It is left there for Him, so why do we avoid the deep conversations with Him? Why do we only fall on our knees when we are hurting? If we could talk to our God like we talk to our husband, best friend or even our counselor, we wouldn’t feel so empty. We would not try to fill that emptiness with things that only hurt us, because we would not feel alone.

God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. For in Him we live and move and have our being.
Acts 17: 27-28

Revelation of Relationship: The Word

Every relationship is built on two way communication. It is not enough to talk to your friend. You have to listen to them in order for them to feel valued and loved. God is no different. He speaks to us in many different ways: trials, other people, circumstances, His Spirit, but one of the key ways is through His Word.

In the past, God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. Hebrews 1:1-3

Consider the following portions of Scripture, and write out what you believe them to be saying.

How important is the Bible to the overall well-being of a Christian?

Psalm 1:1-6; specific emphasis on verse 2

Psalm 119:11

Psalm 119:97-104

Does it sound odd to think of loving the law? The word law for us means something very different than it did for the writer of Psalm 119. For us it is this thing to obey so we don’t get a fine, or have to go to jail. We know it protects us, but I don’t think we would say that we love it. The law being spoken of in Psalm 119 is not the law as we see law, although that type of law was included. The Torah or the Pentateuch is the law being spoken of here. The Five Books of Moses make up the Pentateuch: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy.

• Based on this understanding of the law, what was the psalmist saying in Psalm 119?


• What did he love?


• Why should we meditate on the Word of God?

Look up the definition of meditation in the dictionary. What is the definition? What kind of meditation do you think is being spoken of in the Psalms?

Psalm 19:14

Psalm 104:34


Philippians 4:8 tells us to think about "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy." What could be more praiseworthy or excellent than the Word of God.

The only way we will ever know the heart of our God is by seeking Him. How blessed we are that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Our Creator gave us the Bible to reveal Himself to all of mankind.

Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of the prophecy, and heed the things which are written in it. Rev. 1:3

These words are specific to the book of Revelation, but I believe that if we read the Bible, meditate on it, and then apply it to our lives we too will be blessed.

Father, relationships are hard to build and to maintain. They take time, which is a commodity that we seem to always be short on. As we seek You, give us the wisdom to know what things are taking time away from our relationship with You. Be it service to the church, work, other friendships, books, or a multitude of so many other good things. Help us to let go of the good for what is the best, so that we might know You more fully. It is in the blessed name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

The Shack

Created in our Image

Story is a key component of the postmodern era. William P. Young recognized this and hit a homerun with his novel, The Shack. He also picked up on another major reality of the psyche of our day, and that is relationship. People are hungry for it, starved really, that is why we have Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and unlimited texting. The postmodern person wants constant community. In The Shack, Young reveals a God that wants the same thing. A God that is just but lives, above all else, from a heart of mercy; a God who cares deeply for every single person who ever has lived, or ever will live on the earth.

This is one of the reasons that The Shack reached the New York Times Paperback Bestsellers List, and has stayed there. People want to know that they are living within a story bigger than themselves, but that they are still a valued part of that story. Tim Keller says, "The postmodern era has produced in its citizens a hunger for beauty and justice. This is not an abstract culture, but a culture of story and image."

All of us, who have grown up in the age of television, fit into this postmodern category. Story and image go hand in hand with our day. We read books, but our constant food is visual, be it YouTube, CNN, movies or sitcoms. We are a generation stimulated by vivid imagery and compelling story (even not so compelling that is why we have twenty-four hour news that runs the same fifteen minutes of "news" all twenty-four hours).

William P. Young uses both compelling story and vivid imagery within the pages of The Shack. The book begins with Mack, a middle-aged man, snowed in for the day. Mack walks outside to get the mail, slips on some ice and hits his head. He gets up from his traumatic spill to recover a mysterious letter from the mailbox. The letter reads, "Mackenzie, It's been a while. I've missed you. I'll be at the shack next weekend if you want to get together. – Papa."

Mack freaks at the letter. Papa is the name his wife affectionately calls Father God, and the shack Papa invited him to is the place he had to go in order to identify the blood-stained clothing of his missing six-year-old daughter, who was abducted from a campsite while Mack was saving one of his other children from drowning.

At first, Mack thinks the letter is some kind of sick joke, but soon decides to check the request out. He packs up and goes to the shack. It is at the shack that Mack comes face to face with the Trinity, and it is at the shack that Young provides one of the most dramatic illustrations of the Godhead ever written.

As stated earlier, our postmodern time places a high priority on interconnectivity. Jonathan Edwards once explained the "interconnectivity" that is the essence of the Trinity, "It [creation] couldn't be [created] in order to get love and adoration, since as a triune God he already had that in himself. Rather, he created a universe to spread the glory and joy he already had. He created other beings to communicate his own love and glory to them and have them communicate it back to him, so they could step into the great Dance, the circle of love and glory and joy that he already had."

Young brings this idea of God's perfect community to life in the three characters he created to represent the three members of the Trinity. Perfect unity through humble community is the theme Young carries throughout the entire work. On page 122 of The Shack, the Asian-woman, who is identified as the Holy Spirit says:

Mackenzie, we have no concept of final authority among us, only unity. We are in a circle of relationship, not a chain of command or 'great chain of being' as your ancestors termed it. What you're seeing here is relationship without any overlay of power. We don't need power over the other because we are always looking out for the best. Hierarchy would make no sense among us. Actually, this is your problem, not ours….Humans are so lost and damaged that to you it is almost incomprehensible that people could work or live together without someone being in charge….it's one reason why experiencing true relationship is so difficult for you (Jesus now speaking)…Once you have a hierarchy you need rules to protect and administer it, and then you need law and the enforcement of the rules, and you end up with some kind of chain of command or a system of order that destroys relationship rather than promotes it. You rarely see or experience relationship apart from power. Hierarchy imposes laws and rules and you end up missing the wonder of relationship that we intended for you. (pg. 122-123)

Throughout the narrative, Mack is constantly invited into their relationship. He is brought into the unity of the Trinity and finds healing. He lets go of his anger, finds peace in knowing that his daughter is with God, and understands that justice will be served not by him but by the sacrifice of Jesus. The end of the book has Mack reclaiming the lost body of his little girl. He finds closure and wholeness in God's loving embrace, trusting that he has not been appointed judge and is able to release the man who murdered his daughter in God's hands.

The Shack speaks powerfully to a generation of people touched by story, and uses story to minister to the hearts of those who have been broken by the world. Many people are running to The Shack to find a relational, loving God. One who will do anything to reach them, and spend time with them, not judge them nor condemn them for their failings. Young reveals God as knowable, tangible, and down to earth. He has brought God into the context of the present day, removing past stereotypes and replacing old ideas with new possibilities.

For Young, Papa or God the Father could not come to Mack in male form; because of Mack's past, his own abusive father caused him to be unable to find relationship with a strong, male Father. Instead, Young chose to portray the Father as a boisterous, warm, loving, African-American woman. He also wrote Jesus as a regular guy. Someone to hang with, who was totally cool with you no matter where you were at. With the Holy Spirit, he went around traditional portraits as well. Her name is Sauya, and she is an Asian-woman, who is transparent, and loves to work in the garden. A chaotic place, well at least that is how Mack perceives it, in which she sees perfect order and wholeness.

William Young definitely understands the world we now live in and the values that are important to an age of people who are spiritually hungry and who feed on any idea that might make them feel good about themselves and the world around them. That does not make them feel judged nor condemned for their life choices. The Shack provides answers to hard questions, and gives comfort to those who have doubted the goodness of God.

The postmodern generation desires a savior. That is clear from the overwhelming success books like the Twilight series, based on a noble vampire giving eternal life to a young woman he loves selflessly, even if that life is as the undead. This “savior” and others, however, are poor imitations of the real thing, and sadly, William Young’s character of God is just a caricature. The god found on the pages of The Shack is not the God of the Bible, but instead a manmade god, created in our own image; one that feels comfortable and safe, one that we can relate to and manage because Young’s god is like us.

The postmodern does not believe that there is one truth, or that anyone knows what truth is. They also do not believe that any one text carries any more weight than any other, and if it is argued that one text means a certain thing, they argue against that interpretation saying; Who are you to say this is the right interpretation?

So, when Jesus says in John 15: 9-10; “As the Father has loved Me, I have loved you. Remain in My love. If you keep my commands you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love,” William Young can say something contrary to Scripture and still be right because of his personal interpretation.

In The Shack, the character of Jesus directly contradicts John 15 when he says, “Once you have a hierarchy you need rules to protect and administer it, and then you need law and the enforcement of the rules, and you end up with some kind of chain of command or a system of order that destroys relationship rather than promotes it. You rarely see or experience relationship apart from power. Hierarchy imposes laws and rules and you end up missing the wonder of relationship that we intended for you.”

In the words of Shack Jesus, rules destroy community, and obedience in not necessary in a loving relationship. However, a straightforward reading of John 15 reveals Jesus as saying that obedience and love go hand in hand, that we remain in God’s love through obedience. The word for command in these verses means, “prescribed rule by which things are done.” Jesus actually tells His disciples that perfect community comes from obedience; “I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is My command: love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love that this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you.”

According to Young, commands or hierarchy are unloving. Jesus did not mean that He kept the Father’s commands and we are to keep His commands because that would diminish relationship. But that, in and of itself contradict the actual teaching of Jesus, as well as the actions of His life.

In Jesus’ own words, there is a cause and effect, an expectation of obedience in order to reveal a heart of love.

Not only did Jesus teach that there were certain commands we are to obey, He also explained that there is a “hierarchy” within the Trinity even as the Godhead is totally one and fully equal. In John 14:28 Jesus says; If you loved Me you would rejoice that I am going to the Father, because the Father is greater than I am.”

Jesus over and over again proclaimed that He had not come to carry out His own will, but instead to fulfill the will of the Father. He submitted to His Father the night He was taken prisoner. He prayed to have the cup of the cross removed from Him, but surrendered His will to the Father’s will. Philippians says that Jesus was obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross. “I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love.” Within the perfect relationship of the Trinity, Jesus obeyed His Father. This relationship is no less loving or united because of this.

The unity of the Trinity is real. There is no question they are in complete and perfect relationship, because they are one, desiring for humanity to experience the same kind of oneness, God created marriage. He gave the woman to the man to complete him, and within that relationship He placed man as the head of the wife, and Christ as the head of the man.

One point that Young makes that is quite insightful is that God does not simply want headship over us, but wants all of us. He wants to be at our center, and the modern idea of hierarchy hinders this kind of Christ centered relationship. If believers say there are levels of commitment, then they rank God as first and give Him the best of themselves, but keep back a part for the next item on their list. The idea of complete commitment in a God centered life is a strength within the postmodern paradigm concerning relationship.

That said, Young denies the distinct roles that each member of the Trinity fill, and the unique position the Father fills within that relationship. The authority of the Father is played down by Young’s character construction. Emasculating Him in the process. Which leads to the other factor and one of the largest areas that Young goes against traditional Christianity, he removes the male picture of God, replacing Father God with a female version for a time.

Now, as mentioned above God created them, male and female, in His image. Man and woman are unique in all of creation being made in the image of God. Both aspects of male and female exist in God, and together they make a whole image of God. The question arises then, is God gender neutral. Apparently, Young acknowledged that Jesus did come as a man, because that is how He portrays Him in the book, but argues that the Holy Spirit and the Father are not.

This “interpretation” of God is interesting simply because it diverges from the one given of Abba God by Jesus. In Mark 14:36, Jesus, Himself calls God, Abba or Father in Greek. He never describes the Father as a mother or in female form. Jesus was born of a woman, He had a mother, but it was God, Himself, who was His Father.

In Scripture, God is called the Father: of all rational and intelligent beings, whether angels or men, because he is their creator, preserver, guardian and protector; of spiritual beings and of all men; of Christians, as those who through Christ have been exalted to a specially close and intimate relationship with God, and who no longer dread him as a stern judge of sinners, but revere him as their reconciled and loving Father; the Father of Jesus Christ, as one whom God has united to himself in the closest bond of love and intimacy, made acquainted with his purposes, appointed to explain and carry out among men the plan of salvation, and made to share also in his own divine nature. Blue-Letter Bible.com

Young argues that Mack cannot receive love and comfort from Papa in a male form, so God came to Mack as a woman. The interesting fact that is missing from Young’s assessment and the assessment of the culture at large is that men, no matter how dysfunctional their fathers, still look for male figures to fill that role. Very few men go to an older woman for counsel. They leave their mothers at some point and become men, and men do not go back to a woman, apart from their wives, to be affirmed. They go to other men. This is a truth of nature, and one the Young seems to miss until the end, when Papa says to Mack, “Today you need a Father”.

It is when men finally find a godly Father figure, either their own father, or a coach, or a youth pastor, or an older man to mentor and shepherd them that they begin to recognize the compassion of a loving Father God.

In Young’s worldview men are unable to receive love from other men and incapable of giving love, Neanderthals, unable to love and care so women have to come in and take their place.

This view directly relates to the world and day we live in. The feminization of all culture leads postmoderns to reject the goodness and strength of men. Fathers have lost the position of wise counselors and leaders even within the walls of the Church in the postmodern culture. Now, in order for this generation to be able to relate to God, God has to be a woman, or at least has to be a woman until the man is healed enough for God to come as God.

Finally, William Young presents a picture of God, that some would simply say is an allegory, a sketch of the real thing, a symbol to point people to God. Like the King or the Prince spoken of in Pilgrims Progress or Aslan in C.S. Lewis’ Narnia, but The Shack goes further than these books dared go. Aslan is a symbol, but never presented as Jesus. God is called Lord, King, Prince in the Bible, but John Bunyon never drew a picture outside of those names.

Young moves past allegory to actual description of God. The characters in his book are portrayed as God. Given physical bodies, personality and words, presented with authority as truth, as conversations that God would have. Yet, Jesus said that He alone was the exact representation of the Father to the world. Why is that not enough for us, today? Why do people, Christians need a new kind of representation of the Father, when they have the perfect representation in Jesus?

Long ago God spoke to the fathers by the prophets at different times and in different ways. In these last days, He has spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things and through whom He made the universe. He is he radiance of His glory, the exact expression of His nature, and He sustains all things by His powerful Word. Heb. 1:1-3

Many people have found a renewed interest in God through the story woven by William Young. People have found healing of deep hurts, of lost relationships, and new relationships with God, but the question that arises is this, is it the one true God that they have found or one man’s image of God.

The fictional tale of Mack’s loss and healing is not alone in the annals of Christian literature. Mack is not the first man to come face to face with God after losing his child. Job lost not one child, but ten and was utterly unable to save any one of them. The “great sadness” as Mack’s depression was described fell upon Job like a blanket of despair. He fell naked to the ground as he lost everything.

God came to Job, just as Young had Him come to Mack, but the one difference in their experience is that the Shack god was a man made creation, based on the perceptions of a writer. The God of Job is God. He came to help Job, but He also came in His full authority and power. He questioned Job asking, “Where were you when I established the earth? Tell Me if you have understanding…have you ever in your life commanded the morning or assigned the dawn its place so it may size the edges of the earth and shake the wicked out of it? Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? Let him who argues with God give an answer…Get ready to answer me like a man; would you really challenge my justice? Would you declare Me guilty to justify yourself?”

Job answered Him, “I am so insignificant. How can I answer You? I place my hand over my mouth. I have spoken once and I will not reply; twice, but now I can add nothing.”

Our postmodern generation would bring God down in order to lift themselves up, but Job realized healing when he came face to face with the one true God and humbled himself, not to some bohemian, communal experience but instead to the Holy perfection of God. God came to Job in the fullness of His glory, with authority and power, causing Job to recognize his place in the world. And in all of this, Job did not sin, and God restored, “blessing the latter part of his life more than the earlier,” because of his humility.

The Shack, if taken as a work of fiction, not a Bible study is a good read, an uplifting tale of healing. The church, however, is beginning to use it as a textbook; one to introduce their people to God. Instead of introducing them to the God of the Bible they are introducing them to the god of William Young’s imagination, which he created in our image. The only book that can introduce humanity to God is the one He wrote, the Bible.

All Scripture is God breathed and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2Tim.3:16-17

Do not have other gods besides Me.

A Faithful Leader

President George W. Bush faithfully carried out the Oath of Office he took eight years ago. The Oath states: I, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and I will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."

President Bush ran as a compassionate conservative in the election of 2000, where in one of the closest elections in our nation’s history, he defeated Vice President Al Gore. Upon taking office, Mr. Bush laid out a detailed plan to reform the school systems of the nation, but within 234 days he had a new goal, thrust upon him by world events, a goal that would forever change the direction of his administration and the direction of the country. On September 11, 2001, President Bush determined to never again allow another attack up the United States, while he was president. He fulfilled that goal.

Since 2001, the United States herself has not been attack, nor have her citizens abroad.
Throughout the 1990’s, the United States was repeatedly attack in different locations around the world, as well as in the same location the terrorist hit on 9/11. In 1993, the World Trade Center bombing took place, in 1996, the Federal Building in Oklahoma City was blown up killing some 200 people, in 1999 the U.S.S. Cole was bombed off the coast of Yemen, and this is not even the complete list of the attacks perpetrated against the United States.

These aggressions against the U.S. were culminated on September 11, 2001 when the Twin Towers fell, the Pentagon was hit and flight 93 went down in a Pennsylvania field, with 2974 people killed. The attack of 9/11 was the greatest attack against the United States since Pearl Harbor, and the President as well as the nation took appropriate action to ensure that it did not happen again.

Since that date, there has not been further aggression against our nation. There have been plots, and plans to attack her, but the wise leadership of the Bush administration and the agencies that protect the nation at home and abroad have thwarted those plans.

President Bush has one of the lowest approval ratings of any president, but his legacy is forever established as one of honor, duty and service. Ignoring public opinion polls, and leading from an internal compass of doing what was right no matter the consequence, even the loss of his own popularity is a hallmark of his presidential style. On his watch, President Bush to the best of his ability (and that ability was great) preserved, protected and defended not only the Constitution of the United States, but the United States herself. He will be sadly missed as he leaves the office of the Presidency, but our nation will forever be better off because he filled that office.

The Nutcracker Prince

The Nutcracker Prince

Amber stood three feet away from William. She hopped twice on her back leg, pushed off and flipped over, just as she did the flip she whispered a quick prayer, “Lord, please have him catch me.” He caught her all right. He caught her foot in the middle of his chest knocking the air right out of his lungs, and Amber hit the floor hard. “Lord, but I asked You to help him catch me.”

Amber’s Mom’s words flooded back into her mind, “Our Father is not a genie to be rubbed when we need a wish answered. He is our God whom we need to respect and build a relationship with. I love that you are such a wonderful dancer, and that you have the part of Clara in the Nutcracker this year, but Amber remember that Christmas is not about “The Land of Sweets” and Mouse Kings. Do not replace Christ with a magical Nutcracker Prince or a fairy tale land. Dance, but dance not for your honor but for the honor of Jesus.”

Well, Mom is right, she is always RIGHT. But how can I honor God if I don’t practice and perform at the highest level I possibly can? I know Christmas is about Christ. The Nutcracker is just a fun addition to the holiday season for people. It is beautiful and I love that I get to be a part of something so very special.

Now, back to practice.

Amber jumped back up. She looked at William, “Sorry I kicked you in the stomach. I will watch my feet this time.”

“It’s okay, I should have caught you anyway,” William smiled. “Hope the floor wasn’t too hard.”
Ms. Polly asked the woman running sound to start the music back at the beginning of the pas de deux.

As she did that, Amber could not get her Mom’s words out of her head, “Don’t replace the Christ of Christmas with a Nutcracker Prince.”

Her music started. She twirled around William, and then lined up for her jump. She counted, then pushed off. This time he caught her leg.

Amber felt dizzy. Why did her head hurt so much? William was holding her, or was that William. She turned her head and was looking into the eyes of, well all she could describe him as was, a prince. He smiled at her and set her perfectly down on her right foot. “That was an excellent jump Amber. I have danced with many ballerinas, and for your age, that was one of the best jumps I have seen. Would you like to continue the dance with me?”

Amber reached up, rubbed her right temple. She lightly shook her head, breathed in a deep breath and took the prince’s extended hand. They finished the pas de deux and waited off stage for the dance of the Snowflakes to begin. Amber realized that this was no longer practice. The auditorium was filled with people, the music quality far better than rehearsal, and she was in full costume. How had she missed all this? The one thing that confused her though was the stage. It did not look as it should for an actual performance. Something was different.

As the Snow Queen tip toed past, Amber caught a glimpse of something, a star maybe, hanging high above the stage. That was a new prop, and it was bright. Brighter than anything she thought Ms. Polly’s studio could afford. The snowflakes lined up in graceful rows and the Nutcracker Prince led her down the middle of them. The white smoke of dry ice filled her nostrils, and as the lights dimmed, the star seemed even brighter.

Amber glanced at the dancer next to her. He was amazing. The grace of his every motion surprised her. He caught her eye, and smiled at her. He whispered, “Are you nervous?”
The quick intake of air she drew in steadied her. “Where am I?”

“You are in the magical world of the Nutcracker of course,” he gently said. Then he excused himself.

Intermission was not long enough for Amber. She looked around at the other dancers. They seemed familiar. There was Alice the girl playing Sugar Plum, Annie, the Arabian Coffee dancer, and Amy, Marzipan, but something was strange. She just couldn’t put her finger on it…and where was William? That was freaking her out.

The prelude to Act II started. Everyone jumped into his or her places. The Nutcracker Prince stood next to her again, holding her hand, preparing her for her walk into the Land of the Sweets. But as the lights came up to reveal the stage, there were no candy canes, no lollipops, no gum drops. In the place of the gingerbread house, stood a type of stable, and the angles that lined her way led to the door of the strange building. The light from the otherworldly star shown upon a feed box. Amber realized that Amy was dressed as a donkey, and Annie as a lamb. They sat next to Alice, dressed not in the tutu of a fairy, but in the ragged clothes of a beggar. She held something small in her left arm, and motioned to Amber and the prince to come onto the stage with her right hand.

The angels spun and knelt as the prince and she walked by. Tears seemed to fill their eyes as they looked at the prince. The music still played the Nutcracker suite, but she could hear in the instruments something new, something she had never heard before…it was as if the clarinets sang on their own, “Glory to God in the Highest and peace on earth, good will toward men.”

Amber knew a large crowd was watching her, so she kept performing what she had practiced, even in her shock and confusion. The Nutcracker led her to the beggar character. He reached down and touched the woman’s check. Then knelt and smiled at the bundle in her arms, at the baby she cradled. Amber too bent over. She looked at the child and back at the dancer next to her, their eyes… but she could not stare long. Nutcracker stood and motioned her toward the next scene. This stage was large, larger than any Amber had ever danced on before.

The angels lined the way, a zigzag path leading from the small stable. The angels that once lined the path to the stable seemed to disappear as she and the prince danced over this new path. Their steps were light. He lifted her with such ease, with such grace and set her down with no sound at all. As they both leapt twice, Amber realized that the star followed them across the stage, and stood above a wooden object just in front of her. The prince grabbed her waist, lifted her into the air and sat her down on his knee a few feet away from the dancer, who should have been playing the Sugar Plum Fairy. Once again, she appeared in rags. She stood before the wooden image, which was now clearly a cross. Tears streamed down her checks as she pirouetted around the cross. Her arabesque seemed a bow before the wooden object. She then gracefully fell upon the floor.

The prince lifted Amber to his shoulder. He danced lightly around the cross, as if showing Amber the object from all sides. He placed her lightly on point, and as he did this, he brushed the face of the beggar woman. A tear dropping from his chin onto her hair. She slowly reached up and touched his hand.

The prince then walked to Amber, took her hand, and they ran across the stage as the lights faded. Amber felt something new with the sensation of the prince’s hand in hers. Just right above the palm of his hand, on his wrist, the texture of his skin was different. She gently stroked her fingers against this place on his arm and found she caressed a scar. As, he shifted positions off stage, he moved to her other side and took her right hand into his, she felt the same texture, on this wrist, a mirror copy of the scar on the other arm. How had she missed this before? Where had the scars come from? They weren’t there at the end of the first act.

There was little time to consider her question.

The curtain opened, the star now shown on a cave like structure. A light glowed from behind a type of stone entrance. The prince leapt with her in his arms to the door of the stone cave. On either side, stood angels, with faces bright, tears no longer filling their eyes. Amber and the prince spun around the angels, and a new beggar woman, the one who should have been dressed as Marzipan, ran up to the prince, with pleading in her face. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. She embraced him, and galloped off toward a group of men. She kept pointing back at the cave and the prince. Two of the men raced across the stage. They looked into the tomb, and with wonder in their eyes, they picked up the cloth that lay on a stone ledge inside. Amber finally started to understand, she began to recognize the prince, just as she heard the audience cheer.

The prince lifted her to his shoulder and they waved as they crossed the stage. The lights dimmed, and the star drifted to shine upon a throne. The prince gently placed Amber on point. He ran off stage as she pirouetted to the throne and took a seat on the smaller throne that was next to it. She knew that this show was not about her or how well she danced. It was about the one who is Christmas, who is every fairy tale prince, who is the heart of every story. She sat and waited for his entrance, just as the audience who filled the auditorium waited.

The curtain opened, a male dancer, dressed as a white horse, walked in next to the prince. The prince no longer dressed as the Nutcracker. Now he appeared in all of his glory…dressed in white shimmering clothes, trimmed in gold. A crown upon his head and eyes as bright as the star that shown over the whole hall. In his hand, he held a sword, and as he leapt and danced his final dance, all stood up, all applauded wildly. He was not simply the Nutcracker Prince, but instead the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Amber stared in stunned amazement as He walked up to her, claimed her hand, and her clothes change into white silk as beautiful as the clouds in a clear morning sky. As she started to dance their final pas de deux, she realized that the floor had been transformed into a golden street, that a river ran through the city that the stage has become, and trees now lined either bank, filled with fruit more glorious than any candy found in the Land of Sweets. She danced, and her mother’s words fill her thoughts, “Dance, but dance not for your honor, but for the honor of Jesus.”

She danced now with no thought of her own ability, but with a heart of devotion. She would never again dance for her own honor, but always and forever to bring honor to her Prince.

As the Prince led her back to the thrones, He lifted her and lightly placed her upon her seat. Then He stood in front of His throne, waved at the crowd and took His rightful seat next to her. The Prince turned to her, took her hand, smiled at her, and whispered, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.”

The lights dropped, the crowd screamed, whistled and cheered for what seemed like hours. The Prince stood once again, waved as the lights came back up and went back down, as the curtain fell.

The darkness filled Amber’s mind. She no longer seemed clear in her thinking. Where had the brightness of the star gone? Where was her Prince? Who was speaking to her? Why did he sound concerned? “Amber, Amber, I am so sorry. Are you all right? Amber, please wake up.”

The fog started to lift from her mind. She recognized the voice that was speaking to her. It was William. She knew how his hands felt on her arms, but she did not want to feel his hands or hear his voice. She wanted to stay with the Prince, but as her eyes fluttered open, she looked into William and Ms. Polly’s faces. Concern filled their eyes. Amber sat up. She rubbed her head with both hands. “What happened? Why am I on the floor? Where did He go? Where is the Prince?”

William and Ms. Polly looked at each other. Ms. Polly cuffed William on the back of the head, “You idiot, how could you catch her leg and let her head hit the floor? Better for you to get kicked in the stomach again than to hurt Amber.”

With those words, Amber understood. It had all been a concussed dream, all been a hope within her heart, all been God speaking to her about her own focus. She had replaced the true Prince of Peace with a wooden Nutcracker, but never again. She would dance each scene as it had played out in her unconscious mind, she would dance with the Prince, and for His honor alone.

As she stood, she thanked William for not catching her correctly, and Ms. Polly decided to cancel the rest of rehearsal and take Amber to the emergency room. As she walked out on William’s arm, she glanced across her shoulder and recognized the form of the Prince sitting upon the makeshift throne that sat at the back of the stage. His words crashed into her throbbing head, “I am always with you, Amber, even to the end of the age.”

And she smiled.

How to Save a Life

I have had many conflicts in relationships, many friends I have wrestled with, and wondered about losing. I praise my God that in Christ there is forgiveness, restoration, and healing for not just our souls, but our relationships as well. If that were not the case, marriage would never last.

I have enjoyed a song by The Fray, called How to Save a Life, as I have mourned loss and wondered about my own fault in friendship. Too often we believe that we are right, that we have the corner on any given situation and don't take the time to see things from another persons perspective. In our rightness we hurt relationship, because pride dictates rightness not love. If we are concerned about the direction a friend is headed, about a choice they are making or have made, it is humbleness that we need to approach them, but too often we come in judgement, and there is no way to save a life in pride. The song says "As he goes left and you stay right...you begin to wonder why you came." I speak from personal experience when I write this...in friendship there needs to be less rightness and more humility.

The song, How to Save a Life, came from an experience the lead singer heard about while working at a youth counseling camp. "Slade [lead singer of band] claims that the song is about all of the people that tried to reach out to the boy [at the camp he was working at] but were unsuccessful. As Slade says in an interview, the boy's friends and family approached him by saying, "Quit [the problem behavior] or I won't talk to you again," but all he needed was some support. The verses of the song describe an attempt by an adult to confront a troubled teen. In the chorus, the singer laments that he himself was unable to save a friend because he did not know how." (Wikipedia)

Lyrics from How to Save a Life by The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

I do not end my song the same way as The Fray. I, like them, understand that I don't have the ability to save a life, nor a relationship. I am utterly helpless in this. Where I differ from their conclusion is in the fact that I know who does. Jesus knows How to Save a Life, He is the only one who does....He does not do it in rightness, nor pride but says:

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in
heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My
burden is light. Matt. 11:29-30

We too need to be gentle and humble in heart. If we are, then we will reveal to others Christ and in that know how to save a life.