How to Save a Life

I have had many conflicts in relationships, many friends I have wrestled with, and wondered about losing. I praise my God that in Christ there is forgiveness, restoration, and healing for not just our souls, but our relationships as well. If that were not the case, marriage would never last.

I have enjoyed a song by The Fray, called How to Save a Life, as I have mourned loss and wondered about my own fault in friendship. Too often we believe that we are right, that we have the corner on any given situation and don't take the time to see things from another persons perspective. In our rightness we hurt relationship, because pride dictates rightness not love. If we are concerned about the direction a friend is headed, about a choice they are making or have made, it is humbleness that we need to approach them, but too often we come in judgement, and there is no way to save a life in pride. The song says "As he goes left and you stay right...you begin to wonder why you came." I speak from personal experience when I write this...in friendship there needs to be less rightness and more humility.

The song, How to Save a Life, came from an experience the lead singer heard about while working at a youth counseling camp. "Slade [lead singer of band] claims that the song is about all of the people that tried to reach out to the boy [at the camp he was working at] but were unsuccessful. As Slade says in an interview, the boy's friends and family approached him by saying, "Quit [the problem behavior] or I won't talk to you again," but all he needed was some support. The verses of the song describe an attempt by an adult to confront a troubled teen. In the chorus, the singer laments that he himself was unable to save a friend because he did not know how." (Wikipedia)

Lyrics from How to Save a Life by The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

I do not end my song the same way as The Fray. I, like them, understand that I don't have the ability to save a life, nor a relationship. I am utterly helpless in this. Where I differ from their conclusion is in the fact that I know who does. Jesus knows How to Save a Life, He is the only one who does....He does not do it in rightness, nor pride but says:

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in
heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My
burden is light. Matt. 11:29-30

We too need to be gentle and humble in heart. If we are, then we will reveal to others Christ and in that know how to save a life.