My six year old was playing her sister’s gameboy at the table this afternoon when we were eating lunch. She knows the rule, no toys/games at the table. So, we told her once to put it down, when she kept playing my husband told her she was grounded from it for the rest of the day. She seemed to handle this well enough; she put it away and sat back down at the table.
Well, just now, as she was about to head out the door to ballet, I saw her reach out and grab the gameboy off the table. Now, the gameboy was not on the table after the lunch incident. She had placed it there, ready to sneak it out, prior to leaving for ballet. I was sitting at the table putting jelly beans into miniature baby bottles, for a women’s event tomorrow, as she slowly reached out and grabbed the gameboy. She gently moved her hand, with the gameboy fully grasped in it, back down by her side. I saw all of this out of the corner of my eye. I immediately felt broken hearted, then angry.
She chose to disrespect her father, so that she could do what she wanted to do. She chose to try to sneak around me to fulfill her selfish desire. She chose to allow sin to rule her heart so that she could have fifteen minutes of “fun”. And I was so disappointed, so hurt that I did not even know really what to do. I took the gameboy privilege away from her for a month, I made her leave her dolls at home, and I gave her a swat on the bottom, but all of that did not seem to soften her heart, cause her to feel sorry over her actions.
I felt as if I had a knife in my heart, for my own little girl was choosing death over life. Then I was hit by overwhelming understanding. My Heavenly Father’s heart breaks every time that I choose to disrespect His will, every time I choose to fulfill my selfish desire, every time I choose to allow sin to rule my heart for fifteen minutes of “fun”. I twist a knife in His heart every time I chose death over life.
I sat there for a moment after she left and I prayed for her, Lord, what do I do for my little girl, and I then prayed for Him to forgive me for every time I have sinned against Him, every time I have broken His heart.
Well, just now, as she was about to head out the door to ballet, I saw her reach out and grab the gameboy off the table. Now, the gameboy was not on the table after the lunch incident. She had placed it there, ready to sneak it out, prior to leaving for ballet. I was sitting at the table putting jelly beans into miniature baby bottles, for a women’s event tomorrow, as she slowly reached out and grabbed the gameboy. She gently moved her hand, with the gameboy fully grasped in it, back down by her side. I saw all of this out of the corner of my eye. I immediately felt broken hearted, then angry.
She chose to disrespect her father, so that she could do what she wanted to do. She chose to try to sneak around me to fulfill her selfish desire. She chose to allow sin to rule her heart so that she could have fifteen minutes of “fun”. And I was so disappointed, so hurt that I did not even know really what to do. I took the gameboy privilege away from her for a month, I made her leave her dolls at home, and I gave her a swat on the bottom, but all of that did not seem to soften her heart, cause her to feel sorry over her actions.
I felt as if I had a knife in my heart, for my own little girl was choosing death over life. Then I was hit by overwhelming understanding. My Heavenly Father’s heart breaks every time that I choose to disrespect His will, every time I choose to fulfill my selfish desire, every time I choose to allow sin to rule my heart for fifteen minutes of “fun”. I twist a knife in His heart every time I chose death over life.
I sat there for a moment after she left and I prayed for her, Lord, what do I do for my little girl, and I then prayed for Him to forgive me for every time I have sinned against Him, every time I have broken His heart.
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